Tag: Mom
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Why I got a tattoo
When I told my mother I was getting a tattoo right after our visit ended, she didn’t mince words. “At your age?!” Mom replied, loudly enough that the woman next to us in the nail salon reacted with a quiet chuckle. “Yep,” I told her. I felt resolute. Mostly, anyway. Mom wasn’t happy about it,…
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Missing Dad – it’s the little things
I didn’t expect this, my third Father’s Day without him, to hurt as much as it did.
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Surprises from Italy
I didn’t expect Rome to be so charming. Someone said that spending three nights there was too long. I was told Venice would be impossible to navigate, and smelly too. People said Pisa wasn’t worth more than a drive-by. And so on. What a joy it was to be surprised by all I experienced in…
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Feeling OK
Today is day five post-op and I’m feeling pretty good. I had hoped to post an update sooner, but between pain medication, sleep, visitors and the fact that sitting upright can still be a bit uncomfortable, suddenly here were are. I feel much better than I thought I would at this point in the process,…
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Step by tedious step
The tedious part of addressing my adrenal tumor started to sink in during the days following my initial diagnosis. I have to take a subway to a bus just to go to the hospital or to Dr. E‘s office. Going home or to the office from the hospital is even more awkward. There’s a lot…
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All these terrible anniversaries
I knew to dread Christmas. Because obviously, Mom and my first Christmas without Dad would be hard. My body created a buffer of sorts: I was sick in bed with bronchitis for three days beginning Christmas Eve, leaving Mom to fend for herself. I was so ill I couldn’t even feel guilty until later. I…
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The monster in me
My mother is crying. I am sitting with my arms around her in a gesture meant to comfort, but it’s a perfunctory effort. My arms may as well be made of wood, and my heart, of stone. It’s February and we are in Florida, attempting to celebrate my mother’s first birthday without Dad. Mom is…
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The trouble of an idle mind
My plane landed early at JFK Tuesday night, but a hiccup with the equipment meant that we didn’t disembark until well after 11 pm. While we waited for a tow, my mind wandered. My phone was dead. Without email, texts, Twitter and Words with Friends, my thoughts were all I had. And they quickly turned sad…
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Dear Dad
Dear Dad, This will be my first birthday without you. You always sent me a sweet card in the mail and called to sing me the birthday song first thing in the morning. How I will miss that. When I think about you that way, my heart aches. It’s better if I try to think…
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Into the woods
It’s really hard to hate a tree. I thought I would hate this tree I know because I tried. But as I stood in front of the beautiful cherry tree my father used to climb to hunt deer and otherwise be among nature, I couldn’t find it in my heart to hold a grudge.…
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